It Took Me 30 Years to Realize I’m an Introvert

Yes, call me silly, disconnected, judge me, whatever you want lol  but the truth is, it took me YEARS to realize it. And not just a little introvert… I’m extremely introverted. Let me tell you why.

I had no idea that being introvert or extrovert has nothing to do with whether you talk a lot, are outgoing, or can start conversations. It’s actually about energy, how you recharge, how you come back to yourself, how you feel connected and grounded. We are all energy. Our minds and bodies are surrounded by it, constantly moving in and out of us, and that “flow” is necessary for our wellbeing. When we don’t understand how we personally restore that energy, that’s when problems start. Anxiety, depression, burnout… all of it.

So here’s me, explaining why I always thought I was an extrovert… and how wrong I was.

I love talking. I really do. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t shut up at dinners or gatherings lol. I can talk to strangers easily. I actually enjoy starting random conversations, whether we have anything in common or not. Deeper conversations depend on chemistry, of course, but in general, I’ve always been outgoing.

I’m not shy to speak up, I’ll say something if someone cuts in line (unless they’re elderly and can’t stand long lol). I like meeting people. So obviously… I thought: I’m an extrovert!

I used to go to any gathering I was invited to, if I was free, I went. I talked, laughed, hugged everybody, had fun. I didn’t host parties at my place, but besides that, my social life looked exactly like someone who recharges with people. So in my head, that confirmed it: proud extrovert.

But here’s what I didn’t notice: I also had SO much alone time back then. I didn’t realize how much of my energy came from those moments alone because I always had easy access to them. I lived with roommates my whole life, but always had my own bedroom. If I needed to disappear, I’d go to my room, close the door, reset, recharge. I did this automatically. I never thought of it as a need, it was just something I did without thinking.

Then… boom.

Everything changed when my second baby came into my life, one of the loves of my life, my little master teacher.

This is not about how chaotic motherhood is (that’s another blog lol). But mothers know: time becomes tight. Time alone becomes almost nonexistent unless you fight for it. And I didn’t realize HOW MUCH I needed it. I didn’t know that not having that space, literally a room by myself, organized, quiet, would make me crumble slowly.

And yes, I talk to myself out loud sometimes, make expressions, mumble things… maybe I’m crazy, I don’t know lol. But I need that space. And I didn’t know I needed it until I was close to breaking.

Before kids, it was so easy. I’d feel pressured at a party → I’d leave.
Next day someone invited me out but I wasn’t feeling it → I’d say no.
If I needed to recharge, I just did it. I had a room. Privacy. Silence.

Now… I have three boys and a husband who is the MOST extroverted person I know. Nothing wrong with that, being introvert or extrovert is not better or worse. It just means we recharge differently.

My husband recharges with people. When he’s tired or low, he needs social interaction, meaningful conversations, his close circle, or me. Not in a needy way, just who he is.

Me? I need to be ALONE. No kids, no husband, no dog, no one breathing next to me lol. And not just 20 minutes of scrolling my phone. I need actual alone time.

It took him years to understand why he couldn’t sit silently in the same room as me while I “recharged.” I love him, but no, I need solitude, real solitude.

Slowly, without noticing, I stopped recharging.
Work → kids → tiny bit of free time → spent with my husband (because I love him and he needed it) → repeat.
Every day. Every week. Every year.
And I wondered why I felt off.

My husband wasn’t doing anything wrong, he needed his wife to recharge, and I thought I didn’t mind because… well, I thought I was an extrovert! I thought social time would make me feel good. But it wasn’t working anymore.

I kept building up stress, overstimulation, frustration… and didn’t know why.

Then one day I was venting to a friend about how overwhelmed I felt. And she casually asked, “Have you tried going to the library like we used to?”
Because back in nursing school, when I felt uneasy, she’d invite me out and I’d say, “Let’s go to the library.” I'd grab a private study room, sit alone, read, be silent, be with my thoughts. She’d go to a separate room. Then we’d meet up later feeling human again.

I told her, “No… every time I go now it’s with my boys. I don’t go to be alone anymore.”
And she said, “Girl, you need to go do your thing.”

Do my thing?? What thing??
But that stayed in my mind.

Then I started tracking my cycle, journaling more during my luteal phase, reflecting on my emotions… and it hit me:
I WAS NOT RECHARGING.
Because I am an INTROVERT. And I didn’t even know it.

That’s why I invite every woman to practice cycle awareness, journaling, introspection. It forces you to look inward and understand yourself on a deeper level.

If you’ve made it this far (lol bless you), you might think, “Come on, everyone needs alone time.”
Yes… but this is different.
For an introvert, introspection is not optional, it is NECESSARY.
It’s medicine. It’s grounding. It’s how we restore the energy that keeps everything else in balance.

And understanding whether you’re introverted or extroverted can genuinely change your life. It brings clarity. It brings compassion. And it brings balance.

I hope my story makes you pause and ask yourself:

How do YOU actually recharge?